​There's a saying we've probably all heard: “How we view things is how we do things.” This adage encapsulates the profound impact of perception on our actions and decisions. Have you ever viewed something in a particular way and then adapted your behavior accordingly? This idea ties back to the concept that perception is reality. Even though our perception may not always reflect the truth, it significantly influences our decisions. As a leader, this can lead to making the wrong decision based on the reality you think you see.
The other day, I was in Austin speaking at a leadership event. Before my session, I decided to head down to the lobby to get a coffee and reflect on my presentation. While in the elevator, a man stepped in and pressed the button for a floor just three levels down. My initial thought was, "Why didn’t he just walk?" But I quickly reminded myself not to judge.
A moment later, I noticed an unpleasant smell, clearly coming from the man in the elevator. As he stepped out, I eagerly anticipated reaching the ground floor to escape the odor. However, the elevator stopped at the next floor, and a group of people, wearing lanyards for the conference I was speaking at, entered. They immediately noticed the smell, and as we reached the lobby, one of them remarked, “I can’t believe that man did that.”
The perception was clear: they thought the man who exited earlier was responsible for the smell. What they didn’t realize was that I would be speaking at the conference in an hour. When I walked on stage, who did I see sitting at the front table? The three men from the elevator. As I began my speech, I noticed their faces registering recognition and perhaps a hint of embarrassment. After the session, we shared a laugh about the incident.
This experience reminded me that how we view things directly influences our actions. The men in the elevator made a snap judgment about the source of the smell, which affected their perception of the situation. Similarly, as leaders, our perceptions shape our decisions and behaviors, impacting those we lead.
As leaders, it’s crucial to be aware of our perceptions and recognize that they may not always reflect reality. Our judgments can affect our decision-making, sometimes leading to misguided actions. It's essential to challenge our perceptions, seek out different perspectives, and be open to new information.
One way to mitigate the impact of flawed perceptions is to create a habit of reflection and adjustment. Take time to reflect on your decisions and the perceptions that influenced them. Ask yourself if your views were accurate or if they were clouded by biases or incomplete information. This practice can help you become more aware of your thought processes and improve your decision-making over time.
In leadership, perception is a powerful force. It shapes how we interpret situations and influences our actions. By being mindful of our perceptions and actively seeking to understand the reality beyond our initial judgments, we can make better decisions and lead more effectively. Remember, how we view things is how we do things, so let’s strive to see clearly and act wisely.

​Not too long ago, I took a little vacation with my family to the mountains. We were staying in a cozy cabin that overlooked the Blue Ridge Mountains, a breathtaking view that seemed almost surreal. One crisp morning, with the temperature hovering around 48 degrees, I found myself sitting on the back porch with a steaming cup of coffee. The sun was just beginning to rise, casting a golden hue over the landscape and painting the sky in shades of pink and orange. It was a moment of tranquility, a perfect backdrop for reflection and introspection.
As I sat there, sipping my coffee and writing in my journal, something caught my eye. Across the valley, on the mountain opposite our cabin, I noticed three distinct roads winding their way around the terrain. These roads, I soon realized, held a deeper significance beyond their physical presence.
The first road, the lowest one, meandered through the town nestled in the valley. This road seemed to symbolize the path where one's primary focus is on oneself. It's the road of least resistance, where the concerns of others are secondary, if considered at all. In the workplace, this could be seen as a leadership style or mindset where decisions are driven purely by self-interest. Leaders who walk this path are often preoccupied with their own success, neglecting the needs and well-being of their teams. The result is a fragmented, disjointed culture where collaboration and mutual support are scarce.
Then, there was the middle road. This road was flanked by neighborhoods, homes clinging to the mountainside, striving to reach higher ground but not quite there. This road, I thought, represented a more balanced but still imperfect approach. It's the road of transactional leadership, where interactions and relationships are based on exchanges. Here, leaders try to maintain a positive outlook and aim to be fair, but their actions are often limited by a quid pro quo mentality. They strive to balance their own interests with those of others, but this balance can be precarious and often unsustainable. The culture in such environments can be supportive, yet it lacks the deeper connections and altruistic spirit that true cohesion requires.
Finally, my eyes were drawn to the highest road, winding along the mountain's peak, connecting grand homes that commanded sweeping views of the valleys below. This high road symbolized the pinnacle of leadership—the path of selflessness and service. Leaders on this road are driven by a genuine desire to help others, without expecting anything in return. They focus on the well-being of their teams, fostering an environment of trust, respect, and collaboration. This road is not about elevating oneself above others but about lifting others up, creating a culture where everyone can thrive.
As I sat there, contemplating these roads, it struck me that in leadership, just as in life, we have a choice. We can choose the low road, where selfishness prevails. We can opt for the middle road, a place of cautious balance and transactional relationships. Or we can strive for the high road, where our actions are guided by empathy, generosity, and a commitment to the greater good.
Taking the high road doesn’t make us inherently better than others; it's not about superiority or moral high ground. Instead, it's about shifting our focus from ourselves to those around us, from self-interest to collective well-being. It's about building a culture where people feel valued, supported, and motivated to contribute their best.
As leaders, it's our responsibility to bring others together, to create an environment where collaboration and mutual support are not just encouraged but are the norm. The high road requires effort, humility, and a constant willingness to look beyond our own needs. But the rewards—a cohesive, vibrant, and thriving community—are well worth the journey.
That morning on the mountain, as the sun continued to rise and the world around me awakened, I made a commitment to myself. I would strive to take the high road in my leadership and in my life. Because in the end, the path we choose defines not only who we are but also the legacy we leave behind.

Lessons from Red
Growing up on a farm, life was structured by chores and responsibilities, intertwined with the rhythms of the animals we cared for. Every morning before school, it was my job to head out to the barn, clean the stalls, and feed the horses. The barn was always cool in the early hours, the air filled with the earthy scent of hay and the soft, welcoming sounds of the horses stirring.

My favorite horse was Red, a gentle giant with a rusty-colored coat and a curious nature. He was always the first to greet me when I entered the barn. Despite his size, Red had a way of making you feel calm and at ease, his deep eyes reflecting a wisdom beyond his years.

One particular task I had each morning was to clean the water trough and refill it with fresh water. Red would follow me to the trough, his ears perked forward with interest. He'd lower his head to inspect my work, but despite the clear, cool water I provided, he would rarely drink immediately. I often found myself saying, "Well, as we all know, we can lead a horse to water, but we can't make them drink." This adage became a personal mantra, resonating with me both in those moments and later in life as a speaker and leader.

One memorable morning, after finishing the usual chores, I decided to lay out a new salt lick by the barn. The salt lick was a treat for the horses, a little something extra to keep them happy and healthy. Red, with his usual curiosity, ambled over and started licking the block. He seemed particularly delighted with this new addition to his morning routine. After indulging in the salt, Red followed me once again to the water trough. This time, something changed. He lowered his head and, without hesitation, began to drink.

I stood there, watching him in amazement. It was such a simple act, yet it felt profound. When I went back into the house, I couldn't wait to tell my dad. "Dad," I said with a mixture of excitement and pride, "I finally got Red to drink the water!"

My dad chuckled, setting down his coffee cup. "What was different this time?" he asked.

"Well," I replied, "I gave him a new salt lick, and then he came over with me to drink some water."

My dad's eyes twinkled with understanding. "Son, I want you to remember this moment for the rest of your life. You see, you may not be able to lead a horse to water and make him drink, but if you make him thirsty, he will drink. Always keep people engaged and give them something they want. Make them thirsty for more."

His words struck a chord deep within me. It was a lesson not just about horses, but about life and leadership. The principle was simple yet powerful: engagement and desire drive action. This idea has stayed with me for over 38 years, a guiding principle in my career as a speaker and leader.

Whenever I face a challenge in motivating my team or engaging an audience, I think back to that morning with Red. I remember the way he eagerly licked the salt, and how that small gesture led to him drinking the water. It reminds me to find that 'salt lick' for the people I work with – to understand what will make them eager, what will spark their interest and passion. By doing so, I can inspire them to take the actions needed to achieve our goals.

This lesson from Red is one of many that I carry from my childhood on the farm. The simplicity of those days, the daily chores, and the connection with the animals all taught me invaluable lessons about patience, responsibility, and the importance of small actions. But perhaps the most enduring lesson is this: true leadership isn't about forcing action. It's about creating an environment where action becomes a natural, desired response. And sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of salt.

Reaching the Untapped Majority
As I walked through my community the other day, a startling statistic crossed my mind: within the confines of our small area, there are 268 churches. Yet, despite this abundance, 67% of our residents do not attend any of these churches, while only 33% are regular attendees. The implications of this statistic are profound, especially when considering that many churches persist in focusing their outreach efforts primarily on the 33%. This reality serves as a perfect metaphor for a broader issue I’ve observed in the world of marketing and leadership.
The Comfort of Familiarity
In marketing, it's a well-known principle that it's easier to engage with an audience already familiar with and supportive of your brand. These individuals know your message, resonate with your values, and are generally more receptive to your outreach efforts. This strategy, while effective, has its limitations. When the goal is growth—whether in a church, a business, or any organization—focusing solely on the familiar can lead to stagnation.
In the realm of leadership, this phenomenon is equally prevalent. Leaders and organizations often find themselves stuck in a cycle of discussing the same strategies and facing the same challenges year after year. The root cause? A reluctance to reach out to those who think differently, hold different values, and present new perspectives.
The Challenge of the Unfamiliar
So, why is it so difficult to engage with the 67% who don’t attend church, or the broader audience in a business context? The answer is multifaceted:
Increased Effort: Engaging with those who are not already on board requires more effort, creativity, and persistence. It involves venturing into unfamiliar territory, where the likelihood of rejection is higher.
Discomfort with Differences: To truly connect with a diverse audience, there must be an openness to new ideas and a willingness to understand and respect different perspectives. This can be uncomfortable and challenging, as it requires stepping out of one’s comfort zone.
Leadership and Organizational Growth
This challenge is not unique to churches. Every year, business leaders gather around conference tables, strategizing about growth. Yet, often these discussions are cyclical, yielding the same questions and answers. The problem lies in a reluctance to think outside the box and listen to new, potentially disruptive ideas.
For an organization to grow and evolve, leaders must break free from this cycle. This means not just talking about innovation but actively seeking out and valuing input from those who think differently. Creating a culture where diverse opinions are not just tolerated but encouraged is crucial.
Steps Towards Reaching the 67%
To break this cycle and truly reach the untapped 67%, whether in a church or an organization, consider the following steps:
Understand Your Audience: Invest time in researching and understanding the perspectives, interests, and values of those who are not currently engaged. What are their needs and concerns?

Innovative Outreach: Develop creative strategies that resonate with this broader audience. This could include new programs, community events, or digital outreach tailored to their interests.

Foster Inclusivity: Create an organizational culture that values diversity and inclusion. Encourage open dialogue and be willing to adapt based on feedback from all community segments.

Build Genuine Relationships: Focus on building authentic relationships rather than merely increasing numbers. People are more likely to engage with an organization that shows genuine interest in their lives and communities.

Continuous Adaptation: Be prepared to continually assess and adapt your strategies. What works today might not work tomorrow, and flexibility is key to sustained growth.

Embracing True Change
Growth, whether in a church or any organization, requires the courage to reach beyond the familiar 33% and engage with the untapped 67%. It demands embracing diversity, challenging the status quo, and fostering an environment where new ideas can take root and flourish. As you ponder your own organization’s growth, ask yourself: Are we genuinely ready to change and grow, or are we content with simply talking about it? True progress begins with the bold step of reaching out to those who think differently, paving the way for meaningful and lasting change.

The Power of Presence: How Showing Up Shapes Our Environment
In every aspect of life, whether at work, in personal relationships, or within our communities, the way we show up matters. Our presence has a profound impact on the environment and the people around us. It’s not just about being there physically but about the energy, attitude, and intentions we bring with us. This chapter explores how our presence influences our surroundings and the kind of leader or person we aspire to be, illustrated through a story about a transformative experience at work.
The Story of Harper and the Marketing Team
Harper had always been passionate about marketing. When she joined a new company as the head of the marketing team, she was excited to bring her ideas and enthusiasm to the table. However, she quickly noticed that the team’s morale was low. Meetings were perfunctory, creativity seemed stifled, and there was an air of disengagement.
Determined to make a change, Harper decided to start with herself. She knew that her presence could set the tone for the entire team. Harper began to show up with an infectious energy and a positive attitude. She greeted everyone with a smile, listened intently to their ideas, and made an effort to recognize their contributions.
Harper’s approach began to create a ripple effect. Her genuine enthusiasm was contagious. Slowly but surely, team members started to mirror her positive energy. Meetings became more lively and creative brainstorming sessions more productive. The team's overall productivity and morale saw a noticeable improvement. Harper also made it a point to be supportive and empathetic. She encouraged her team to share their challenges and worked with them to find solutions. By being a supportive presence, Harper created a safe and nurturing environment where everyone felt heard and understood. This fostered a culture of trust and collaboration.
Harper’s confidence in her team and in her decisions was reassuring. When faced with tight deadlines and high-stakes projects, her decisiveness and clear direction instilled confidence in the team. They felt more secure and motivated to take on challenges, knowing they had Harper’s backing.
Before Harper’s arrival, the team had suffered from a lack of direction and low morale. The previous leader had been detached, often showing up with a negative attitude that permeated the entire team. This negativity led to decreased motivation and even caused talented individuals to leave. Harper was determined not to let this happen under her leadership.
Harper reflected on the kind of leader she wanted to be. She aspired to inspire her team to strive for excellence. Leading by example, she showed commitment and passion for her work. Her vision and drive motivated others to see and reach beyond their limits. She focused on being a source of support and encouragement, providing the resources and environment needed for her team members to thrive, emphasizing their well-being and growth. While Harper was supportive, she also maintained a clear vision and direction. Her authoritative presence, grounded in knowledge and decisiveness, guided her team with clarity and purpose. Harper was mindful to avoid being distant or disengaged. She knew that a leader who lacks engagement can cause uncertainty and disengagement among the team.
Harper’s efforts were geared towards creating an environment where people wanted to show up and give their best. She created an inclusive environment where everyone felt valued and respected. Encouraging diverse perspectives, she recognized contributions from all team members. Harper provided opportunities for personal and professional growth, offering mentorship, training, and constructive feedback to help others develop their skills and confidence. She maintained open lines of communication, encouraging transparency and honest dialogue. Harper made it clear that every voice mattered. She recognized and celebrated achievements, both big and small. Acknowledging hard work and success boosted morale and encouraged continued effort.
Harper’s journey with her team illustrates that showing up is more than just being present; it’s about the quality of our presence and the impact it has on others. By consciously bringing positive energy, support, and confidence into our environments, we can create spaces where people feel motivated and valued. As leaders, we have the power to set the tone and shape the culture of our teams and communities. Reflect on the kind of presence you bring and strive to be the person who makes others want to show up and engage. Your impact is greater than you may realize.

The Balance Between Learning and Applying Knowledge
The other day, I found myself sitting and reading, lost in thought. A question surfaced in my mind: why do we continuously seek to learn more, yet often fail to utilize the knowledge we already possess? This observation struck me as both intriguing and somewhat concerning. I've seen countless individuals who are incredibly book-smart, yet they seldom apply the wealth of knowledge they have amassed. Instead, they persist in their quest for more information.
This phenomenon isn't limited to personal pursuits; it extends into our workplaces as well. We invest significant resources in training and educating employees, but do we equally emphasize the importance of applying that knowledge? It's essential to recognize that learning new things is undoubtedly important. However, it is equally crucial to use what we already know effectively.
The Pursuit of Endless Learning
In many professional environments, there is a strong emphasis on continuous education. Workshops, courses, seminars, and certifications are all designed to keep us at the forefront of our fields. This commitment to learning is commendable, but it often overshadows the practical application of acquired knowledge. The result is a workforce that is well-informed but sometimes struggles to translate that information into meaningful action.
Bridging the Gap Between Knowledge and Action
Consider how this dynamic plays out in your own workplace. Do you spend more time teaching others new concepts, or do you focus on helping them use the information they already have? While expanding our knowledge base is vital, it is equally important to create opportunities for practical application. This approach not only reinforces learning but also drives innovation and problem-solving.
Learning in Religious Contexts
This tendency to prioritize learning over application is also evident in religious settings. Many people feel the need to acquire extensive knowledge before they feel qualified to teach or engage in discussions. While preparation is valuable, it's important to recognize that we will never reach a point where we know everything. Waiting for that elusive moment of complete understanding can prevent us from making a positive impact with the knowledge we currently possess.

The Power of Application
Ultimately, the knowledge we acquire should serve a purpose beyond mere accumulation. It should inspire action, drive change, and improve lives. By focusing more on applying what we know, we can make a tangible difference in our workplaces, communities, and personal lives.
To achieve this balance, we must shift our mindset. Instead of constantly seeking more information, we should challenge ourselves to use what we already know. This approach not only solidifies our understanding but also empowers us to contribute meaningfully to our surroundings.
While learning is a lifelong journey that should be encouraged, it is crucial not to lose sight of the importance of application. Whether in our careers, personal growth, or spiritual journeys, the true value of knowledge lies in its use. Let's strive to bridge the gap between knowing and doing, and in doing so, make a lasting impact on the world around us.

The other day, I found myself in a meeting that sparked a moment of profound self-reflection. As discussions unfolded around the table, I couldn't help but question some of the approaches being presented. My mind was racing with counterpoints and responses, and I suddenly realized I was more focused on preparing my rebuttal than on truly understanding the perspectives being shared.
This brought me to a familiar thought that echoed in my mind: "Am I listening to respond or to understand?" It's a concept we've all heard, but in that moment, it struck me with new clarity. I began to wonder, why was I so eager to jump in with my own input? Was it about contributing value to the discussion, or was it more about asserting my presence and importance in the room?
As leaders, we often find ourselves in situations where we need to pause and reflect on our actions and motivations. This is where self-awareness becomes a critical component of effective leadership. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that constant contribution equates to leadership, but sometimes, the most valuable thing we can do is to truly listen.
Self-awareness allows us to step back and assess our behavior. Are we engaging in conversations to genuinely understand and support our team, or are we driven by a need to demonstrate our own value? By asking ourselves these questions, we can shift our approach from one of self-interest to one that prioritizes the collective good of the team.
In that meeting, my moment of self-reflection led to a significant shift in my behavior. Instead of interjecting with my prepared responses, I focused on listening with the intent to understand. I found that this approach not only enriched my own perspective but also encouraged more open and honest communication among my team members.
When we prioritize understanding over responding, we create a space where team members feel valued and heard. This fosters an environment of trust and collaboration, where everyone is more likely to lean in and engage. It's in these moments of true listening that we uncover insights, build stronger relationships, and ultimately lead more effectively.
As leaders, it's essential to cultivate this self-awareness and regularly check in with ourselves. Are we listening to understand, or are we merely waiting for our turn to speak? By making a conscious effort to listen deeply and thoughtfully, we demonstrate our commitment to the team and pave the way for more meaningful and productive interactions.
So, the next time you find yourself in a meeting, take a moment to pause and reflect. Challenge yourself to listen with the goal of understanding, rather than simply responding. In doing so, you'll not only enhance your own leadership skills but also contribute to a more collaborative and supportive team dynamic.