Waiting in the Hallway: Leadership, Patience, and Character Development
 
Have you ever felt like you were sitting in a hallway, just waiting for the next thing to happen? Not sure when or what the next door will be, but you’re stuck between where you’ve been and where you’re going? I recently found myself discussing this very feeling with my therapist, and it hit home in a way I hadn’t expected. As a leader and an employee, that feeling of waiting in the hallway can be lonely. The uncertainty can make it feel like you're stranded, wondering when the next opportunity, project, or responsibility will arrive.
 
Leadership often requires moments of stillness, but no one talks about how uncomfortable that stillness can be. When you’re in the hallway, waiting for the next door to open, it can feel isolating. Everyone else may seem like they’re moving forward, accomplishing things, while you’re left sitting there, waiting, watching the minutes tick by.
But that waiting room, or hallway, doesn’t have to be a place of frustration or impatience. It’s an invitation to pause, reflect, and prepare for what’s next.
 
The Challenge of Waiting
In leadership, it’s easy to feel like everything needs to be happening all at once. We’re conditioned to expect constant progress, movement, and growth. However, leadership is not just about the “doing”; it’s also about the “being.” There are moments where waiting is necessary because the next step hasn’t revealed itself yet. It’s during these times that character is developed. Waiting feels uncomfortable, though, because it challenges our desire for control.
 
The hallway can also be a place of struggle when you feel that the people around you don’t understand your position. People can either drift away, leaving you feeling more isolated, or their actions can cause irritation, throwing off your focus and making you question your decisions.
 
Drifting and Irritation
When people drift or when the frustrations of waiting start to creep in, it can feel like you’re losing your footing. Have you ever had someone on your team who simply seems to check out? Their detachment makes you question your own leadership, your strategies, or even your worth. It’s easy to internalize the actions of others when you’re in that waiting place, making you feel like you’re doing something wrong.
 
On the flip side, when things aren't going the way you hoped or expected, irritation can set in. Minor inconveniences become major annoyances. You might find yourself losing patience with those around you, even if the issue has nothing to do with them. That irritation can start to affect your relationships, your work, and, eventually, your character.
 
Irritation and impatience can slowly erode the foundation of who you are as a leader. If left unchecked, they can lead to decisions or words spoken in frustration that you later regret. In those moments of tension, it’s crucial to remember the bigger picture. While the hallway feels like a place of waiting, it’s also a space for preparation.
 
Shaped in the Waiting
When you're stuck in the hallway, what you choose to do in those moments matters. Character isn’t built when everything is going well. It's forged in times of waiting, tensions, and uncomfortable spaces between where you are and where you want to be.
 
Rather than allowing frustration to guide your reactions, consider how this period of waiting can refine you. Is it teaching you patience? Is it challenging your ability to lead when things aren’t clear? Are you learning to listen more deeply to those around you or even to your own inner voice? The hallway isn't a place where nothing happens—it's where the deeper work of leadership and character formation begins.
 
In my conversation with my therapist, I realized that the waiting isn't just about enduring until the next door opens. It's about becoming the person who will be ready when the door does. How I handle the waiting directly impacts my ability to lead well when the opportunity comes.
 
Embracing the Hallway
If you’re feeling like you’re sitting in the hallway right now—whether in your career, your leadership, or even your personal life—remember that waiting is not passive. It’s active preparation for what’s to come. It’s a place where your patience is tested, your character is shaped, and your ability to lead through uncertainty is refined.
 
You may be alone at times, and you may experience frustrations, but don’t let those moments cause you to drift or lose sight of who you are. Instead, allow them to deepen your resilience, sharpen your focus, and strengthen your resolve.
 
The hallway is not the end of the journey. It’s a crucial stop along the way, and how you navigate it will determine what kind of leader you’ll be when the next door finally opens. So, if you find yourself waiting, don’t lose heart. Trust that this season is preparing you for something greater—and the waiting is part of that preparation.
 
Reflection Questions:

1. Are you in a hallway season right now? What are you learning in this space of waiting?
2. How do you typically handle frustration or irritation when things aren’t going according to plan?
3. What small steps can you take to use the waiting period to grow your leadership and character?

 

Feeling Stuck? Here’s What Leaders Can Learn About Backing Up to Move Forward
Have you ever found yourself completely stuck, unable to move forward no matter how hard you push? Recently, I had a moment at the farmhouse that got me thinking about leadership and life. I was hauling a trailer up the back hill, aiming to park it in just the right spot. The field had been soft from recent rain, and soon enough, my tires sank into the mud, grinding to a halt. I was stuck.
As I sat there, my mind started racing. "I could walk two miles back to the barn and get the tractor," I thought, but I didn’t want to make that long trek. Instead, I kept trying to power through, pushing the trailer forward, hoping somehow I’d break free of the mud. After about 20 minutes of spinning my wheels—literally—I realized something: I wasn’t getting anywhere. If anything, I was just digging deeper into the mud.
That’s when I made a crucial decision. Instead of fighting my way forward, I shifted gears and backed up. Slowly, carefully, I reversed until I found firmer ground, then adjusted my direction. Only then was I able to move forward and get the trailer to where it needed to be.
This experience made me think about leadership. As leaders, how often do we find ourselves in situations where we feel stuck? Maybe we’re pushing a project, an idea, or a team forward, but no matter how hard we try, progress stalls. Our instinct is often to keep pushing, thinking that sheer force or determination will eventually get us through. But sometimes, that’s not the answer.
The trailer situation taught me a valuable leadership lesson: there are times when moving forward means first stepping back.
Recognizing When You’re StuckThe first challenge for any leader is recognizing when you’re stuck. Just like the trailer in the mud, it’s easy to get so caught up in the momentum of pushing ahead that we don’t realize we’re no longer making progress. Whether it’s a business strategy that isn’t working, a team dynamic that’s unhealthy, or a personal goal that seems out of reach, the first step is admitting that things aren’t moving the way they should.
Leaders often resist this recognition. Why? Because acknowledging you’re stuck can feel like failure. But it’s not. In fact, it’s a critical moment of self-awareness that can lead to a breakthrough. The longer we keep spinning our wheels in the mud, the deeper we dig ourselves into the problem.
The Value of ReversingBacking up can feel counterintuitive for leaders. We’re wired to push forward, break through obstacles, and maintain momentum. The idea of reversing—even just to reassess—can feel like losing ground. But sometimes, stepping back is the only way to regain control.
When I finally stopped trying to push the trailer forward, I was able to see things from a different perspective. I realized that backing up wasn’t a sign of failure—it was part of the solution. By taking a few steps back, I gave myself room to adjust and find a new way forward.
In leadership, this often means revisiting old decisions, shifting strategies, or even re-evaluating your team’s dynamics. Sometimes, a fresh perspective can only come when you’ve backed up far enough to see the bigger picture.
Knowing When to Ask for HelpBacking up also brings us to another important question: When do you keep trying, and when do you call for help? In my case, I had the option of walking two miles to get the tractor. It would have solved the problem quickly, but I hesitated because I didn’t want to take the extra time or effort. Leaders face this dilemma all the time. Do we ask for help, or do we try to work it out ourselves?
There’s no shame in seeking help. In fact, some situations require it. But as leaders, we must also develop the ability to know when the situation calls for patience, persistence, or a strategic retreat—versus calling in reinforcements. Sometimes the challenge isn’t about finding a solution through others but about taking the time to reevaluate and adjust.
The Path You Didn’t Plan Might Be the Right OneThe biggest lesson from that day wasn’t just about getting unstuck. It was about realizing that the path I ended up taking was different from the one I had originally planned. I didn’t want to back up, shift direction, or take an alternative route. But when I did, it actually worked out better. I avoided an even muddier stretch and found firmer ground.
As leaders, we often get so focused on our original plan that we don’t allow room for adjustments. We’re determined to stick to the path we envisioned, but sometimes, life—or leadership—requires us to take a detour. And those detours can lead us to better outcomes than we originally imagined.
The Million-Dollar QuestionSo how do we know when it’s time to back up or when to ask for help? That’s the million-dollar question, and there’s no easy answer. Every situation is different, and the decision often comes down to a combination of wisdom, experience, and gut instinct.
But here’s what I’ve learned: Don’t be afraid to reverse to move forward. It may feel like a setback, but in reality, it’s often a strategic move that positions you for long-term success. Whether in life or leadership, sometimes the best way to reach your destination is by taking a step back, finding firmer ground, and shifting direction.
So next time you feel stuck, ask yourself—are you willing to step back, reassess, and find a better path? Or are you still trying to push through, looking for the easy way out? The answer could make all the difference.

Impact Over Impression
In leadership, we’re often faced with a choice—are we here to make an impact, or are we simply trying to make an impression? This question sat with me recently when I had the privilege of listening to Jon Fay, the retired Chief Executive Officer of the Blue Angels, speak to our organization. Jon spent his career surrounded by some of the most disciplined, high-performing individuals in the world, but what struck me most was not the technical mastery of the Blue Angels or their flawless performances—it was his perspective on leadership and life.
As Jon stood before us, he said something simple but profound: “We are here to make an impact, not an impression.” At first, it seemed like just another phrase, something that might be written on a motivational poster. But as he continued to speak, those words took on a deeper meaning.
In today’s corporate world, it’s easy to focus on impressions. We’re conditioned to think about how we appear to others, how our performance will be perceived, and how we can climb the ladder by looking good to the right people. I’ve been there—caught up in trying to say the right things, show off accomplishments, and make myself stand out in a sea of other professionals. But Jon’s words challenged that approach, forcing me to reflect: Are we doing things to be seen, or are we doing things that will make a lasting difference?
Jon shared a story that drove this idea home. He spoke about a young boy who was battling a severe form of cancer, one that his doctors didn’t expect him to survive. This boy had one dream: to meet the Blue Angels. With some effort, Jon and his team arranged for the boy to spend a day with the squadron. The team welcomed him, gave him a full tour, and each pilot personally handed him a Blue Angels pin—a symbol of their unity, excellence, and camaraderie.
Jon described the boy’s joy, the way his face lit up as he received the pins from each pilot. “The smile on his face was priceless,” Jon said, his voice softening as he recalled the moment. He explained that this wasn’t just a fleeting moment of happiness; it was a reminder of why they do what they do. “This is what it’s about,” Jon continued. “Making an impact, not just going through the motions or trying to impress.”
What struck me most wasn’t just that Jon and his team gave this boy a special day, but what happened next. After the event, one of the team’s flight surgeons came up to Jon with an observation that shifted his entire perspective on the situation.
The flight surgeon said, “What you did today wasn’t just for that boy. Yes, you made his dream come true, and for that, he’ll never forget it. But what you really did was make an impact on his family. That boy may not survive his battle with cancer, but every time his family looks at those pictures, or at the pins, they’ll remember his joy, not his illness. They’ll remember that for one day, their son was happy, living his dream.”
This perspective was profound. It wasn’t just about the immediate impact on the boy—it was about the lasting legacy left with the family. Jon realized that what they did wasn’t just a gesture to impress or lift the spirits of one person in the moment. It created a memory that would endure long after that boy’s time on Earth had ended. The family would have something to hold onto, something positive, something full of life to remember their son by.
That story hit me hard because it made me question how we, as leaders, approach our own roles. Are we creating moments that will last beyond the immediate? Are we thinking about the ripples we leave in the lives of others, or are we focused on winning approval in the short term?
Jon’s story challenged me to stop and think about how I lead my team. Am I focused on creating quick wins that look good on paper, or am I building something deeper—a foundation that will have a lasting impact on the people I lead? It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind, measuring success by numbers, performance metrics, and accolades. But true leadership is about more than that. It’s about making an impact that reverberates long after the meeting is over, after the project is completed, and after the role has changed hands.
The lesson from Jon’s story is this: it’s not about what people think of you in the moment. It’s about what they remember because of the way you touched their lives. Making an impact is about creating something that lasts, something that transforms others in ways they may not even realize until later.
Reflecting on this, I began thinking of ways we can shift from making impressions to making a real impact in our daily leadership. Here are five ways we can do this—things we might not always consider:
Invest in People’s Growth, Not Just Their Performance
It’s easy to get stuck focusing on how people are performing today. But what if we spent more time thinking about how we can help them grow for the future? Building others up in ways that extend beyond their current role creates long-term value. The real impact isn’t just hitting today’s targets—it’s developing people so that they’re prepared for tomorrow’s opportunities.
Create Memories, Not Just Results
It’s not just about hitting goals; it’s about creating experiences that people will remember. Whether it’s taking time to mentor someone, celebrating small wins, or doing something
unexpected to lift someone’s spirits, these moments often have a longer-lasting effect than any quarterly report ever will. People remember how you made them feel more than they remember what you accomplished.
Focus on Legacy, Not Immediate Rewards
Leadership isn’t just about getting results here and now. It’s about thinking in terms of legacy. How will your leadership be remembered? What will you leave behind? Ask yourself if the actions you’re taking today are building something that will stand the test of time, even after you’re no longer in your current role.
Empower Others to Lead
True impact comes when you help others realize their own leadership potential. It’s not about making sure you always have the answers or the spotlight. Sometimes, the greatest impact you can make is by stepping back and allowing someone else to rise to the occasion. Leadership isn’t about being the hero—it’s about creating heroes in others.
Be Present, Even When It’s Inconvenient
It’s easy to lead when everything is going smoothly and the spotlight is on you. But what about when things get tough, or when it’s inconvenient to be there for someone? Making an impact often means showing up when it’s hardest—when no one is watching, when the task seems thankless. These are the moments that matter most and leave a lasting impression.
As Jon Fay’s story reminded me, leadership is about more than being noticed or climbing the corporate ladder. It’s about making a lasting, meaningful difference in the lives of others—something that can be felt long after we’ve left the room. Whether it’s through a small gesture, a powerful conversation, or an unforgettable moment, the real question is: Are we making an impact, or are we just trying to make an impression?
In the end, people won’t remember the accolades or the titles. They’ll remember the way you made them feel, the ways you helped them grow, and the moments you made possible. That’s the legacy we should strive to build.

Busy vs. Hurry: Why We Blur the Two Together
In today’s world, it’s easy to blur the lines between being busy and being hurried. Both can fill our schedules and exhaust us, but they’re not the same. Let’s break down the difference between busyness and hurry by looking at an example from the life of Jesus.
As we’ve discussed before, Jesus was a busy man. He was constantly surrounded by people, healing, teaching, and traveling. But in all His busyness, He never seemed anxious, irritable, envious, or distracted by lesser things. He lived with purpose, not with a sense of rush or panic. What sets His example apart from the way we often handle our busyness?
Busyness vs. Hurry: Understanding the Difference
Busyness is having a lot of things to do—meetings, tasks, or errands—but maintaining a sense of purpose and focus. You may have a full day, but you are in control of your time and emotions.
Hurry is when those tasks and meetings are stacked so tightly together that you’re sprinting from one to the next, feeling stressed, frustrated, and overwhelmed. It’s losing your peace because you have no margin. For example, being in a long grocery line might make you anxious and irritable because you don’t feel you have even thirty seconds to lose.
The key distinction lies in how we handle time. Busy people may have full schedules, but they make space for what truly matters. Hurried people, on the other hand, have no margin—every second is accounted for, and any delay feels catastrophic.

​How to Be Busy Without Being Hurried
To avoid the trap of hurry, we must get good at counting the cost of our time. When someone asks you for a favor or an extra task, consider these questions before saying "yes":
Am I the right person for this request? Just because someone asks you to do something doesn’t mean you are the best fit for it. Consider your strengths, availability, and energy level.
Is this the best use of my time? We all have a limited amount of time and energy in a day. Before taking on more, evaluate whether this task aligns with your priorities or if it will stretch you too thin.
Would I say yes 100% of the time for similar requests? If you find yourself saying "yes" to tasks out of obligation, consider if it’s something you’d choose to do under normal circumstances. If not, it might be better to decline or delegate.
The goal is to be intentional with your time and to maintain focus, like Jesus, on the things that matter most. By creating margin and learning to say "no" when necessary, you can remain busy but peaceful, without slipping into the hurried chaos that so often drains our energy and steals our joy.

Let’s embrace the balance—being productive without losing our sense of purpose.

Becoming a Creature of Discomfort: Unlocking Your Hidden Potential
We all crave comfort. Whether it's a cozy home, stable relationships, or a predictable routine, comfort gives us a sense of control and security. But what if comfort isn't the key to growth? What if it's in our moments of discomfort, struggle, and challenge that our true potential is revealed? The reality is, when we embrace discomfort, we unlock abilities, strengths, and perspectives we didn’t even know we had.
Why Discomfort is Necessary
Discomfort, though often avoided, is essential for growth. Like a muscle that gets stronger through resistance, our personal and professional growth happens when we stretch beyond what feels comfortable. The truth is, staying in your comfort zone stunts progress, limits creativity, and keeps you from realizing your full potential.
In discomfort, we’re forced to adapt. We face situations that push us beyond our limits, forcing us to become stronger, wiser, and more capable than we were before. It’s in these moments that we find our hidden potential.
Discomfort Unlocks New Strengths
When we think about the greatest breakthroughs in our lives, whether professionally or personally, they rarely happen in times of ease. They happen when we're faced with challenges that force us to dig deep, learn something new, or approach life from a fresh perspective. Discomfort pulls something greater out of us.
Consider the analogy of a butterfly. Before it can emerge in its full beauty, it must first struggle to break free from its cocoon. That process of struggle is what strengthens its wings and allows it to fly. Without that discomfort, the butterfly wouldn’t have the ability to soar. In the same way, our moments of discomfort are preparing us for something greater.
Embracing Discomfort Unlocks Growth
Growth comes from embracing the discomfort that challenges you. It pushes you to:
Overcome Fear. Fear often keeps us in our comfort zones. The fear of failure, rejection, or not measuring up can paralyze us. But discomfort forces us to face those fears head-on. Each time we push past fear, we grow more resilient and confident, unlocking the potential that fear kept hidden.
Adapt and Learn. When we’re comfortable, we tend to stick to what we know. Discomfort, on the other hand, forces us to adapt, learn new skills, and broaden our horizons. Whether it's tackling a new role at work, navigating a difficult relationship, or stepping out in faith in an area you feel uncertain, discomfort makes room for learning and growth.
Discover Strengths You Didn’t Know You Had. It’s often said that we don’t know how strong we are until being strong is our only option. Discomfort reveals inner strength. It teaches us perseverance, grit, and determination. When you push through the pain of discomfort, you emerge stronger and more capable.
Practical Steps to Embrace Discomfort
Set Stretch Goals. Regularly set goals that push you beyond your current abilities. Whether it’s learning a new skill, challenging yourself with a tough project, or taking on leadership in a situation that intimidates you, give yourself permission to stretch. These goals will force you to grow beyond your current limits.
Lean Into Fear. Instead of avoiding what makes you uncomfortable, lean into it. If something scares you, like public speaking, trying something new, or having a hard conversation, approach it with curiosity. You may discover strengths and talents you didn’t know you had.
Surround Yourself with People Who Challenge You. Growth happens when we’re surrounded by those who push us to be better. Find a mentor, colleague, or friend who challenges you to think differently, take risks, and stretch yourself. These are the people who will help you unlock your hidden potential.
Reflect on Past Discomfort. Think back to a time when you were uncomfortable, but came out stronger. Maybe it was a job loss, a move to a new city, or a tough season in a relationship. Reflect on how that discomfort shaped you. How did it reveal new strengths or lead to unexpected growth?
Embrace Discomfort for What It Is
Discomfort is not the enemy. It’s the key that unlocks the hidden potential within you. When you push through fear, adapt to new challenges, and refuse to settle for what’s comfortable, you discover new levels of strength, resilience, and capability.
So the next time you feel that familiar pull to retreat into comfort, challenge yourself to lean into the discomfort. It may feel unsettling at first, but it's in those moments that you find out what you're really made of. Being a creature of discomfort isn’t about seeking pain or hardship; it’s about recognizing that the path to your greatest potential often runs through the valley of discomfort. Embrace it, and watch your potential unfold.

Navigating Leadership: The Importance of Awareness and Decisiveness
In my 20s, I had the privilege of serving as the captain of a 65-foot Hatteras, guiding it through fishing tournaments and the challenges that came with them. One particular experience stands out, not just as a lesson in boating, but as a powerful metaphor for leadership.
During one tournament, we were approaching the weigh-in, where the atmosphere was thick with anticipation. Boats and spectators crowded around, eager to see the day's catch. As I carefully maneuvered our vessel, a smaller boat suddenly crossed in front of my bow, oblivious to another boat approaching on my port side. Realizing their mistake, the crew of the smaller boat panicked, throwing their vessel into reverse to avoid a collision with the other boat. But in their haste, they failed to account for the momentum of my much larger boat, which couldn’t just stop on a dime. Fortunately, I was moving slowly and was able to back down in time to avoid an accident.
This near-collision highlighted a crucial leadership lesson: the importance of awareness and decisiveness. The crew of the smaller boat was so focused on one problem that they missed the bigger picture, almost causing a much larger issue. As leaders, we often face similar situations where the ability to see the whole picture and make calm, informed decisions is critical.
Leadership Lessons from the Helm
Holistic Awareness: Effective leaders are always aware of the broader context. Just as I had to keep an eye on all the boats around me, a leader must understand the dynamics within their team, the competitive landscape, and the impact of their decisions on the organization. Missing one element can lead to unintended consequences.
Measured Response: When faced with challenges, leaders need to avoid knee-jerk reactions. The crew on the smaller boat reacted hastily, without considering all the factors at play. In leadership, a hasty decision can often exacerbate problems rather than solve them. Taking a moment to assess the situation and think through the potential outcomes can make all the difference.
Understanding Momentum: Just as a large boat doesn’t stop instantly, organizational changes and decisions often take time to fully manifest. Leaders must recognize the inertia of their actions and understand that reversing course is not always easy or immediate. This requires foresight and careful planning.
Maintaining Focus: In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. The crew was likely distracted by the excitement around them, leading to their poor
decision-making. As a leader, it’s vital to remain focused on long-term goals, even when faced with immediate pressures or distractions.
Steering the Course as a Leader
Leadership is much like navigating a large vessel through busy waters. It requires a combination of awareness, decisiveness, and a deep understanding of the forces at play. A good leader, like a good captain, anticipates challenges, remains calm under pressure, and always keeps the larger context in mind.
Just as I avoided a collision that day by staying aware and making a measured decision, leaders can steer their organizations through challenges by maintaining focus, considering all variables, and understanding the momentum of their actions. In both leadership and boating, the ability to navigate complex situations with clarity and calmness is what ultimately leads to success.