The One Thing You Can’t Lose as a Leader: Empathy

The One Thing You Can’t Lose as a Leader: EmpathyLeadership comes with challenges, decisions, and responsibilities. But there’s one thing that, if lost, will cost you more than any bad decision ever could: empathy.
Too often, people climb the ranks, gain new titles, and forget where they came from. The very trait that helped them connect with others—empathy—is the first thing to go. And without it, leadership becomes nothing more than power and authority instead of influence and impact.
If you want to stay grounded and lead well, watch out for these five signs that you might be losing empathy:
1. Being Critical and JudgmentalIt’s easy to forget what it was like when you were in the trenches. Instead of offering guidance, some leaders become quick to judge and criticize.
Example: A manager notices an employee struggling to meet a deadline and immediately assumes they are lazy or disorganized. Instead of asking what’s going on, they say, "I don’t understand why this is so hard. When I was in your position, I never missed a deadline." What they fail to see is that the employee is juggling a sick child at home or dealing with a personal crisis.
Empathetic leadership asks: What’s really going on here? How can I help?
2. Thinking, “This Would Never Happen to Me”Leaders sometimes develop a mindset that certain mistakes or struggles wouldn’t happen to them. They forget that everyone has their own unique battles.
Example: A team member makes a mistake on a project, and the leader immediately says, "I would have never let that happen." Instead of acknowledging that mistakes are part of growth, they create an environment of fear where people feel ashamed rather than supported.
Empathetic leadership recognizes: Everyone has a learning curve. How can I turn this into a teaching moment?
3. Telling Someone They Are Too SensitiveEmpathy means acknowledging emotions, not dismissing them. Telling someone they’re too sensitive shuts down communication and makes them feel unheard.
Example: An employee expresses frustration about a recent policy change, and their leader responds with, "You’re being too sensitive. It’s not a big deal." What they don’t realize is that the change significantly impacts the employee’s workload or work-life balance.
Empathetic leadership listens and responds with: "I hear your concerns. Let’s talk about what’s making this difficult for you."
4. Joking About People's EmotionsWhat one person sees as humor, another may experience as dismissal or even humiliation. Joking about someone’s feelings can damage trust and morale.
Example: A team member expresses anxiety about a big presentation, and their leader laughs and says, "Oh come on, don’t be such a baby. It’s just a presentation." Instead of feeling supported, the employee now feels embarrassed for expressing vulnerability.
Empathetic leadership responds with: "I get it. Presentations can be stressful. Want to run through it together?"
5. Only Thinking About How Decisions Affect YouA leader’s decisions impact the entire team, not just themselves. When leaders fail to consider how their choices affect others, they create disengagement and resentment.
Example: A leader decides to change the work schedule to better fit their personal preferences without considering how it affects the rest of the team. Employees now struggle with childcare or have to work longer hours without input.
Empathetic leadership asks: "How will this affect my team? What can I do to make sure this works for everyone?"

The Higher You Climb, The More You Need EmpathyMoving up the leadership ladder doesn’t mean leaving empathy behind. In fact, the higher you go, the more critical it becomes. True leadership is about lifting others up, not forgetting the struggles that got you there.
The best leaders never stop seeing the world through the eyes of those they lead. They remember what it’s like to be in the trenches, and they use their influence to encourage, uplift, and develop those around them.
So as you continue to grow in your leadership journey, pause and ask yourself:

• Am I still leading with empathy?
• Do I truly understand the struggles of my team?
• Have I taken the time to listen before making judgments?

If the answer to any of these is no, it’s time to reconnect. Because at the end of the day, leadership isn’t about power—it’s about people. And people need empathy.