Do we tell people what to do or do we tell them who they are?
I remember when I finished college and went to work for my Dad and I bought this old truck from him that he had driven for years. I can still here my Dad telling me that I need to check the oil and check the air in my tires. My dad would tell me this every time I would pull away from the office. I remember thinking, I’m an adult and my Dad doesn’t have to tell me every time to do these things. I didn’t like being told what to do. I mean I’m an adult! Even though I knew my Dad was correct, I was not going to do it. Why? Wouldn’t I do it. Well most of the time people don’t want to be told what to do. Think about you at work. You have a boss come in your office and tell you what to do. How does that make you feel? I know for me it doesn’t sit well. I know you, “The Boss” has done this for a while but thanks I’ve got this. My Dad and “The boss” weren’t meaning any harm at all. My dad was telling me because he knew I wouldn’t remember. The Boss is not doing it to be hateful, he/she is doing it because they want to see you succeed, because most of the time they have been there done that and learned from their mistakes. However, we don’t look at it that way, we still look at it as being told what to do. Because some of us have been told what to do our whole life. Some of us have been told what sports to play when we were young. What college and degree we should get, what career to go into, and what person we should date. None of this advice was given to us to do harm, but it still didn’t sit well us. As a Christian, I have been told my whole life of what God wants me to or not to do. We have been told what not to drink or what movies not to watch. When and where we should have quite time with God. If you really think about is this Faith or compliance? When you start to look at through the lenses of compliance then you’re just being an actor. God doesn’t want actors he wants you, not someone you’re not. God a had great fix for this, instead of telling people what they want, we need to tell who they are. If you have kids, you know this works. When they are small they believe they can be anything. Why? Because we tell them who they are, and they believe it. Look at these stories in the Bible. God told Noah he was a sailor and he became one, He told Moses he was a leader and he came one, He told Sarah she was a mother and she became one, He told Peter he was a preacher and he led a Church. We need love people the way God loved people, let God’s Spirt do the talking when it comes to telling people what they want. We are called to love people and let’s start there before we tell someone what they want.
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The past week I noticed so many negative things on Facebook. First, I saw people using Facebook to bash other using choices they made or had to make 20 years ago. I mean is this what we do these days, bring up things from 20 years ago? As adults, we wonder why our kids act the way they do. We need to take a look in the mirror!
After seeing and thinking about what I saw on Facebook, I had to ask myself am I’m I showing a positive walk and how to love others or am I acting just like this? Then I had to answer myself and thought no I don’t because I post positive quotes and share positive things, So I was good to go. Well until God said, “How are you showing love at home, in the work place, and while you’re driving?” Yes, the driving one got me. I remembered the last time someone pulled out in front of me which caused a switch to go off (and poor behavior) and my wife always says, “Where was Jesus in that wave.” Then I realized I have some work to do in my walk. We all do and we are not going to be perfect at all. However, if we are wanting things to change in this world we have to step up and start to show some serious love to each other. This goes for non-believers and Christ Followers. As a Christ follower we have to practice showing love each day because Christ says love others the way I Loved you. He said “A new command I give you: … As I have loved you, so you must love one another,” John 13:34. When Jesus said these words, it was Thursday, the day before he was crucified. Judas had gone into the darkness to betray his Master, and Jesus now turned to his other disciples, calling them his children. A more literal Greek translation would read, “My dear little children, I will be with you only a little longer,” John 13:33. Then Jesus went on to tell his followers how they would need to relate to each other after he was gone. “Love one another,” he commanded his disciples. By offering a command here, Jesus did not focus on the feeling of love, but on the decision to love. Jesus knew that we would not always feel like loving each other, so he commanded it. Love is first a decision, not an emotion. But a command to love is not easy to obey. That’s why it’s good news to hear that this is a “new command.” What’s new is that Jesus has given us a model for this love through his own ministry. We are to love, Jesus says, “as I have loved you.” In his love for us, Jesus was willing to die for us. In community with him, we discover the power to love sacrificially too. Jesus says that when we love as he has loved, we will become a powerful attraction for people who do not know Jesus. By this, everyone will know that we are his disciples. If we love one another, they will know we are truly children of God. As I sat in Sunday School a few weeks ago, with my head bowed reflecting on the word I was reading, I heard a voice reverberate so thunderously in my heart that it startled me.
The voice was blaringly loud, as if it had been announced over the loudspeakers. I lifted my head surprised to see that no one else was taken aback. Because I swear everyone should have heard that voice. However, all was calm in the class. And so began my encounter with God. I heard God speak loud and clear with a short message that would have changed me more than people may know. Three powerful, commanding words: "Go and share!" I became overwhelmed with emotion. I was awestruck that God had spoken to me at all, but even more so at the three words I heard. Go and share? I asked God go and share what? Then it hit me. Fear immediately overwhelmed me, and I sank into my chair, trembling at what I thought God might be asking. I began to question God, "Surely, you can't mean share my past, Lord. Surely, you don't mean go and share what I prefer to keep secret." Yet, that is exactly what He meant. Well of course I didn’t like that idea and even asked God can’t someone else share their past? God said, “No, I need you to share your past.” I tried to find ever excuse of why I should not share my past at all. First of all, I didn’t even want to be sitting there much less share! I was invited to this Sunday School by an old friend from my old Sunday school class…from my past. I didn't want to be transparent or vulnerable. I gratefully accepted His forgiveness and healing, but I wasn't ready to accept His call to give me a purpose. However, God continued to speak to me and told me to share. So, I did what I didn’t want to do and that was to share my past. The funny thing is after I shared I had a guy came up to me and wanted to chat and ask how I got to this point. I was able to share the story of what God did for me. I may never know who my story impacted that day but they now know what God can do for them. The man who was healed from demon possession in Luke 8:37-39 experienced similar feelings. This tormented man lived as an outcast for many years, naked and alone in the tombs of Gadara, near Galilee. When he saw Jesus, he fell to his knees and shouted at the top of his voice, begging for mercy from God. Jesus commanded the demons to leave him and then cast them into a herd of pigs that rushed down the steep bank into a lake and drowned. The man was healed physically, but more importantly, spiritually. He was so overwhelmed with gratitude for what Jesus had done, he begged to travel with Jesus and stay by His side. But Jesus had other plans. Instead, Jesus told him to go and share his story. And he did. What had once been a burden to bear became a powerful story of transformation. This man's past, and the healing he experienced, became the foundation of a purpose in life that he would have never imagined — living his life as proof of the life-changing power of Jesus. The man's story became a testimony when he was willing to share it with others. How many people believed in Jesus and are now spending eternity with Him simply because this former demon-possessed man willingly allowed his terrible past to become a story of redemption and purpose? People can deny Christ, dispute Scripture and ignore prophecy, but they cannot deny, dispute or ignore God's transformational power in someone's life. Our stories of pain, adversity and overcoming in Christ are meant to serve as a testimony of God's faithfulness and power, evidence that God really can take what the devil meant for evil and use it for good. I've since learned it is always God's desire for us to go and share our stories, whether we want to or not. God never wastes our pain. Only we do that. God has a plan for great purpose and a beautiful future for all who believe in Him. Not despite our past, but because of it. Today, we live in a world where we hear the saying “swipe right or swipe left.” This saying is about choices, we either choose to swipe or not to swipe. Think about cell phones, we swipe right to answer our phone, unlock our phone, respond to emails, browse through photos, and respond to emails. These are all choices that we make every time we use our phone. With our finger-tip dancing across devices, we navigate our life. It’s estimated that the average American pulls his or her phone out to check it one hundred and fifty times each day. That’s once every six minutes.
However, have we every made a choice to swipe then we wished we didn’t because of the outcome of the swipe? The other day I was in the middle of a project and my phone rang and I had a choice to swipe and answer it or finish the project I was doing for work, which need to be done by the end of the day. Well, I answered my phone to have an unhappy client on the other end. After an hour on the phone defusing the situation and then spending an hour doing things for this client as a result of my phone call, my project was not turned in on time to my Vice President of the company. This didn’t sit well with him because he needed it for his boss. The choice I made to answer my phone cost me that day and put my boss behind schedule. So, how many times have we swiped right to have that choice cost us? The choice I made that day caused a ripple effect. Yes, the choices we make will always cause a ripple effect in some way. It can have a positive or a negative ripple effect. The course of our lives is seldom determined by great, life-altering decisions. Our direction is often set by the small, day-to-day choices that chart the track on which we run. This is the substance of our lives – making choices. About 5 years ago I made a choice to get a divorce. Prior to me filling for divorce, I made some choices that were not the best. The choices made had a huge ripple effect. It effected my kids, my relationship with my best friend, my family, and people from work. We have to remember each choice we make it has a ripple effect. Sooner or later, we are all faced with life-changing circumstances. These are times when the normal comes to a screeching halt, when decisions are not easy, and when drawing close to God becomes our immediate focus. With “big” decisions we tend to slow down, knowing that what we do next will have long-lasting consequences – good or bad. But what if we took the same approach with the thousands of small decisions we make each day? Our everyday choices are just as much a part of God’s plan as where we go to school, what job we take, or who we marry. In decisions big and small, our faithfulness to God causes a ripple effect that not only influences the present, but generations to come. Take Ruth’s faithfulness, for example. Ruth had no idea that the fruit of her obedience would include Jesus’ birth into her family line. She was the great-grandmother of King David, an ancestor of Jesus. So, what about us? Let’s say we understood all the “whys” behind what God is asking us to do. We would be more like robots than people who trust God. We may not know everything we want to know, but we know Who does. Ephesians 3:20 says God is “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” And He does this “by His power that is in us.” God plans beyond what we could even dream to imagine or ask. And His power lives in us! That’s reason enough to live by faith, trusting Jesus to guide us each step of the way. Through Him, our faithfulness will be an eternal echo bouncing off the walls of time. Have you ever been at a party for work or even church and looked up to see a person coming towards you that you didn’t want to talk with because all they do is complain. I’m sure we can all say yes! I remember a few years ago I was sitting at the airport waiting on my flight to Atlanta. As I was sitting there, I saw this person who is the ultimate complainer. I was looking down hoping he would not see me because I had nowhere to run. Then I hear him call my name and I was like, dang! He walked over and said, “Hi how are you and can I sit here with you?” I wanted to say no, but of course I said yes. He had not been sitting by me more than 5 min and it started. Then he shared a story about how he was walking and saw some money crumbled up on the ground. I was thinking how can you find something to complain about when finding money? Well he went on to say that when he picked up the crumbled money and unwrapped it, he discovered it was only a $5 bill. He then said, “that just my luck, if someone else had found this, it would have been a $10 bill. I was thinking did they just really say this. Complainers look at the negative side of every situation. They don't give thanks for what they have, but gripe because it's not more. At this point I was acting like I was listening, but I wasn’t because I started to think about myself and wondered if I complain like this, I mean I know I have complained about things. But do people look at me as a complainer? Or do they look at me as some who encourages?
There are two types of people in the world. One type loves and seeks the best while the other drains and complains and seeks the worst. With some people, like I did in the story above you look for that place to hide when you see them coming because you know there will be plenty of criticism and complaints. But then there are other who, when you hear their name or better yet see them, your spirit is immediately lifted because you know they are such a blessing and encouragement to be around. This is the person I want to be, don’t you? There is a guy in the Bible that was such a constant source of encouragement that the apostles gave him the name Mr. Encouragement! His name was Joseph, but the disciples of Jesus changes it to Barnabas, which means “Son of Encouragement” (Acts 4:36). WOW, what a way to be known! When you read about him throughout the book of Acts you see him loving, encouraging, building up and blessing many. Anybody can be a complainer, but it takes effort to be an encourager. As we go through our day at home, work, or wherever you at, let’s practice being that of an encourager. Don’t we have enough people in the world that complain? All you have to do is turn on the news and people are complaining about everything. Again, I know I complain about things for sure, But, lets pray and practice to be a Barnabas. I was in Tennessee for Thanksgiving a few years ago and during this time I was training for a half marathon. I got up on that Thursday morning for a 7-mile run before went to my aunt’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. As I was running, I ran up a hill and then down a hill, I did this for about 6 miles before I hit a stretch that was actually flat. When I returned back to the house, I thought man that was a hard running going up and down the hills. As I looked at the run on my GPS watch – I could clearly see the up and down of the route – you can make the analogy that it’s like the ups and downs that life brings. Sometimes we are on our mountaintops and sometimes we are in the valleys. The ease of the run down the valleys are like our mountaintops and the difficulty of running up the mountain are like the challenges in our lives. When we are on our mountaintops, things are grand. When we are in our valleys, life can be tough.
The key is how we handle our valleys. How do you react to the adversities that put you in your valleys? You have a choice as to how you respond. I am coming to appreciate the significance of this. How I choose to react makes all the difference in the world. The Bible is full of reminders as to the nature of God and his love, power and steadfastness. Because we have God in our life, we can be assured that he will comfort us when we are in our deep valleys. Psalm 23:4.“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Sometimes we may feel distressed and troubled over our life circumstances. God wants us to know that we are not alone though. He wants us to look into his perfect Word to be reminded of his nature and to guide us. Psalm 119:143-144 “Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands give me delight. Your statutes are always righteous; give me understanding that I may live.” The attitude we have when we are in the trials and valleys of our life will make all the difference. We can be anxious, and all stressed out or we can be trusting and at peace. A state on anxiety can cause a host of health issues and Inner peace is conducive to good health. You can choose to be reminded of the nature of God and look into his Word to find scriptures that point to Him. Or, you can try to cope with your valleys on your own in your own strength and in your own ways. I have been there, so I would not recommend it. It’s a matter of choice. The resulting attitude and behaviors that follow will be based on your choice. Today as I headed out the house for my run, I came across this guy who was sleeping on a loading dock. As I ran by, I started to think what his story was and how did he become homeless. Then I started to think to myself that I bet it was drug related. About the time that crossed my mind I thought I’m judging this man without even knowing his story. I kept running and kept thinking about this man. As I was running back home in a different direction there stood the man that was sleeping. He was standing at the corner of the street headed to the gas station. So, I had to stop and talk with him. I took my ear phones out and struck up a conversation with him. Come to find out he was a teacher with his masters. You’re probably thinking how do you know he wasn’t telling you a lie and that is a good question. Here is the way I know he wasn’t lying, because I actually went to college with him. When I realized who he was, I asked if he remembered me. He didn’t for a second then he realized who I was. I asked him man how in the world did you end up here? He shared with me his story of losing his Dad and he stopped teaching to try to keep up the family business, but during the downturn of the economy, he lost everything. It wasn’t because of drugs or anything like that. However, I judged him without knowing his story.
Don’t we do this every day? I remember going through this personally when I went through my divorce. I am the first one to tell you that I didn’t make the best choices at the beginning of my divorce. I remember people judging me without knowing my story. I would say ask yourself this question, “Do you know what’s going on with a person before you decide not to like them.” You might not like the decisions that have made which I totally understand that, but make sure you understand their story. Again, I’m not saying it gives people a pass of making bad decisions, but you might find out the true struggle and be able to help. It’s very easy to throw rocks at something or someone, you don’t understand. Therefore, before you start throwing rocks make sure you understand the story. When we understand the battle that someone is fighting, we can understand how to love someone better. Because how you see people will determine how you treat them. God calls you to love each other as Christ loved us. We may not agree or understand but it’s our job to love them. Look at how Christ treated this woman in Luke 7:36-41 “36 When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee’s house and reclined at the table. 37 A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. 38 As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. 39 When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner.”40 Jesus answered him, “Simon, I have something to tell you. “Tell me, teacher,” he said. 41 “Two people owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[a] and the other fifty. 42 Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he forgave the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon replied, “I suppose the one who had the bigger debt forgiven.” “You have judged correctly,” Jesus said. 44 Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.” 48 Then Jesus said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” Ask yourself are you Simon? Jesus knew who this lady was and knew she was sinful but loved her anyway. I’m not saying Christ agreed with her decisions, but he loved her. As we go through each day and before we start to judge someone, remember “Lets understand his/her battle so we can love him/her better” because this is what we are called to do.
This past weekend was the Blue Angel show that is put on over the beach in my hometown. As I was watching this show, I was thinking about the person who actually put the flight plan together for the pilots. The plan is right on point and takes the planes in directions so that they don’t collide as they fly only inches apart from each other. However, it’s up to the pilot to follow the plan. What if the pilot decides not to follow the plan? What do you think would happen? It would not end well, and someone would either die or a lot of folks would get hurt who are their watching the show. This is why they spend so much time going over the plan and practicing the plan each day. Which also requires trusting of their teammates and the person who puts the flight plan together. Isn’t our life the same? Our Father has a plan together for us. Jeremiah 29:11-13 “11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Our Father has put together a plan for our lives. However, we decided not to follow up and then we crash and burn and then we always ask why did this happen to me? It’s because we don’t follow the plan – His plan. The reason I can say this is because I have been there, and I know what is like to crash and burn and see the hurt of the people that were surrounding me. About 12 years ago, I had a job that God lead me to. I know this because there was no way I would have found this job on my own. However, after about 3 years into the job, I wanted something more. Well, let’s call it like it is, I wanted more money. I started to look for a job making more money and going against the plan God had for me. I found that job and accepted the job without praying about it. I took this job based on money and status. After 5 years in, my sales position was eliminated without notice. I made a decision to chase money instead of following the plan God had for me. By doing this I put financial strain on my family. After being out of work for 6 months, a friend of mine called and offered me a job. It was the same industry, that I had left to chase the money. If I would have only followed Gods plan instead of my own I would not have put my family in the situation that I did. Just as the Blue Angels Airshow plan was customized, our life was customized. Psalms 139:16 “You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book!” You were born in response to the determined plan of God, not as an afterthought. Before you even took one breath, every day, every step and every circumstance in your plan was recorded. God’s plan uses your strengths as well as your weaknesses. We all have strengths – they are part of the plan. We all have limitations – they too are part of the plan. We all have seasons of life that are essential to the plan as well. True success comes when, instead of constantly fighting against or trying to change the plan, we learn to identify and build on our strengths, accept the limitations as hedges of protection from God and yield to the seasons in life as God’s avenue of perfect timing. God’s plan for you is not a “one-size-fits-all.” No, it is customized and just your size. If you have ever watch the Blue Angels’ Airshow, you know that a person put together a great plan for them to follow to put on this fantastic show. We need to know our life plan is a good one also. Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God does a plan for us we however go against it because we think we know better. For some reason, we tend to think that God sat down one day and designed a sinister life plan laced with pain and defeat. Nothing could be further from the truth. This train of thought contradicts the very nature of God and misunderstands His heart – the heart of a loving Father who wants the absolute highest and best plan for His child. It is a good plan! How do we discover God's plan for our life? By spending time with the plan maker and by saturating daily life with His truth and continually turning our hearts to a conversation with Him. Not because we have a Bible Study to teach or an invitation to speak, but simply because we love the sound of His voice and long for the ecstasy of His presence. When we spend time with Him the plan naturally unfolds as we take every “next step” in obedience. We have all at one time or another said this is a “Thorn in my side” and if you didn’t know it you were quoting scripture out of 2 Corinthians 12. I was sitting in a waiting room the other day waiting to see one of my clients and over heard this guy say the element he was dealing with was a thorn in his side. It got me thinking about this kid I met years ago who was dealing with this element that kept him from playing the game he loved and that was baseball. I was in college when I met him, and he was such a great kid. When I met him, he was about 15 and I was 19. He came to every practice and game when we’re playing at home.
I remember thinking why does he come to the field and torment himself knowing he could never play this game he loved. I remember telling my roommate there is no way I could do that, knowing I could never play. I even said to him that would be a “THORN IN MYSIDE”. But let me tell you this kid was so positive in life and always brought smile to everyone’s face when he was at practice or a game. One time after one of the players had struck out he yelled, “Hey Number 12 keep your head up you’ll get him next time, remember your playing a game I would love to play.” We all smiled in the dugout, even number 12. I recall sitting down with him and asking man how and where do you find all this positivity? He looked at me and said to you have time for a story? I had nowhere else to be and I sure didn’t want to go home to study. He said, “For years I prayed that God would take this away from me, so I could play the game you get to play every day. And for years God didn’t answer me and didn’t take this away from me. I was so mad at God and asked him why he allow this to happen to me and take this game away from me? I asked why he was answering everyone else’s pray but mine? Am I not just as important as the other people who are getting answered prayers?” I remember thinking yea why hasn’t God answered you, I even asked him that question. He looked at me a smiled and said I’m glad you asked. He asked if I had heard of Paul in the Bible? I remember talking about him in Sunday school and that he wrote half of the New Testament. Trying to let this 16-year-old kid know that I knew my Bible. He grabbed his backpack and opened his Bible and went to 2 Corinthians 12:7-12 and read it “7 or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” He shared with me that if God told Paul, who wrote the half of the new testament, “no” then I think I’m good. He said I look at it this way, God is allowing me to share the Gospel with you through my weakness. He then asked me this, would you have sat and talked with a 16-year-old or even let him share the gospel with you? I said probably not, that when he said, “through my weakness, His strength shows.” As I left the field that night I wondered and thought about the conversation for many years. I love to watch the Discovery and History channel. As I was watching the History channel, they were discussing about ships that sailed across the world years ago. One of the things I learned is that each fleet has what they call the “Mothership.” This ship is the one who knows where they are all going and sets the direction for all the ships in the fleet to follow. However, by following the Mothership, that does guarantee that everything is going to go smooth on the journey for the ships who follow.
So, on one ship all is going well, on another ship things might be going bad. But, aren’t both ships following the mothership? Isn’t this like life as a follower of Christ? God is the mothership we are following but you can have one person where it seems like everything is going so well for them and the other person where it seems all Hell is breaking loose in their life. Both people are following the Mothership. However, we sometimes need to ask ourselves are we truly following the Mothership (God)? God knows why we are in the water, we may not know that all of the time. God also knows why we encounter the storms of life. Our job is to learn how to sail in the same direction as the Mothership. Because we can choose to create anything we want, we can sail in the opposite direction if we want. When we do this, we will for sure find rough water. I remember a few years ago, I decide to get back in the gym and get back in shape. During this time, I started to travel down a path of bodybuilding. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with bodybuilding for some. I however started to make choices where I was not following the Mothership and decided to go in my own direction. I found rough waters and by the end of that rough journey my boat was damaged with all kinds of holes and about to sink. But as I started to sail back in the direction the Mothership; my life was filled with meaning, purpose and love. I was excited about being alive. The meaning of my life was the inner compass that aligned itself with the Mothership and allowed me to follow in the direction that the Mothership wanted me to go. Mark 8:34 says “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.” |
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