​The temptation to compare is as near as your next chat with a friend, trip to the store, or check-in on social media. It's never-ending and exhausting. And whether you come out on top or come up lacking, there is simply no win in comparison. It's a trap. 
 
I remember when I began my career and started having kids, I was always looking to the right and left of me comparing myself to the people around me. I was always asking myself do I measure up? I would look at what others had and looking at their children. I pushed my kids to meet their full potential as they were growing up because I was looking to my left and right. As I got older I started to ask the question, was I pushing my kids to meet their full potential or was I pushing them to meet a standard that I had set? I was comparing myself to other parents and comparing my kids to other kids. By doing this, I drove my kids crazy. I know this now because since they are older, they told me they felt like they were not meeting my standard. And they were right because the standard I had was mine not theirs. We even do this with ourselves? We start trying to live up to someone else because we compare ourselves to them. When we do this, we drive our self-crazy and then we miss out of the true things around us. I think about all the things I truly missed out on with my kids because I was pushing them to meet a standard that was not theirs. And most important what did they miss out on because trying to live up to it?  There is no “WIN IN COMPARSION.”
 
Let’s look at Ecclesiastes 4: 4-8 “4 And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
5 Fools fold their hands and ruin themselves.  6 Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind 7 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun: 8 There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless—a miserable business!  
 
Let’s break these verses down.  It you look at verse 4 when we are looking at others and chasing them and comparing our self to them it like chasing the wind. Ask yourself can you catch the wind? Of course, you can’t and by trying you will drive yourself crazy and miss out on so many things. Verse 5-6 states you fold your hands. So, think about this when you grab something with both hands so hard there is no way for your hands to be filed with something else because your hold is on something you want. I not saying chasing a dream is wrong but leave on hand open, so you don’t miss out on something you don’t see. Verse 7-8 shows a man who is miserable and is not content with anything. When we live a life with no contentment we chase things we think will make us content. We chase Jobs, cars, and jump from marriage to marriage. If you dealing this ask yourself why can’t I enjoy what I have? 
 
We will all deal with this every day. It’s a daily struggle because of the world we live in. So, lay this struggle at the feet of Christ each day and keep your hands open so He can fill them for his Glory not our own. 
 

​At some time in your life have you have probably thought that God was inattentive, uncooperative and late? You might be thinking that right now as you read this. Doesn’t it drive you crazy that some people make it look so easy, like all their prayers are being answered. And then you have that Christian friend who tell you “The other day I was running late and need to stop by the store and was praying for a close parking spot and then all of sudden a car pulled out and I got the best parking spot!” Then they say, “I’m so glad God answered my prayers.” If you’re anything like me, I want to say, “shut up!” Because you’re asking God to bring a son or daughter back home, healing for a sick family member or struggling marriage and your hearing nothing from God.
 
A few years ago, when I was going through my divorce, my middle daughter said to me, “I am praying you and Mom don’t get divorced.” About a year later, I remember sitting in my apartment talking to my daughter about this and she Dad, “I’m not sure there is a God because he didn’t answer my prayers for you and Mom to stay together.” I told my daughter just because he didn’t answer your prayers doesn’t mean he was not listen nor was he absent.  But she still struggled with that answer and questioned if there was a God. As we talked and studied I shared a verse with her out of Mathew 11:6, “Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.” I told her see God does not want us to lose faith because He doesn’t answer our prayers the way we want.
 
I shared with her the story of John the Baptist who was Jesus’ cousin. John the Baptist walked with Jesus and shared with others all about Jesus. If you remember, John the Baptist is the one who baptized Jesus in the river. However, a few years later John was put in prison by Herod. In addition, Herod’s wife wanted him dead. Here is a man who walked with Christ and while in prison he even started to question his faith. He even had his friends go ask Jesus, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” Matthew 11:3. And so, they did, and Jesus told them to tell John “Go and report to John what you see and hear” Mathew 11:4. Remember, they were seeing Jesus heal and preach to the world. John couldn’t see past his own circumstances. Did Jesus break John out of jail? No, he didn’t. John actually died in prison.  But John used his time to share the Gospel in prison.
 
We need to remember we will go through things and our prayers will not be answered the way we want but remember God will use our circumstances to reach someone else. Our personal circumstance does not determine how God feels about you. I mean look at John the Baptist, his own cousin. Look at what Jesus said in Mathew 11:11, “truly I tell you, among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist; yet whoever is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.”
 
Therefore, when God seems to inattentive, uncooperative late, look back and remember other answered prayers or even unanswered. We need to look at our circumstances and reflect. No, it’s not easy at all, just as it was not easy for my daughter. But now she can talk with kids that are going through what she went through and show them what God has done for her. We never know how God will use us to help others from our unanswered prayers.
 
 

​Who likes to wait on an answer, a diagnosis, or something you order online? if your honest with yourself, no one likes to wait.  We live in a world today where we don’t have to wait. We can have things overnighted to our house and we can get on our phones and have an answer within seconds. I remember when I was a child and had to wait until the following week to see what happen on MacGyver, these days you don’t even have to do that.
 
Seventeen years ago, my third daughter was born. We were looking at her through the window while she laid in the nursery. Then I noticed she started to turn blue because she was not breathing. The nurse was tending to another baby in the room and didn’t notice. So, I did what any Dad would have done. I took my fist and hit the window as hard as I could to get the nurses attention. Well not only did I get her attention, my daughter jumped and started breathing again. The nurse came over and thought I had lost my mind, but I picked up the phone and told her what was going on. The next thing you know there were doctors looking over her and they decided to take her to the NICU. As they wheeled her over there, they sat me in this little room while the doctors did their Job. I remember sitting in this room and wanting answers and I didn’t want to wait on anything. I needed to know what was going on, now. It was driving me crazy because five minutes felt like thirty. Then the door opened, and I was like great I’m getting answers, but it was a friend of mine from church. I thought I don’t want to see you, I want to see my daughter. I remember him telling me to sit and try to relax. He said, “look your daughter is in good hands.” I told him I needed answers, and no one is giving them to me. I was about to walk out and find my own answers and that’s when the door opened, and it was the doctor. He told me she was ok, and they were going to monitor her overnight. I remember my friend saying “see she is ok and you were about to make a fool out of yourself.”
 
Don’t we do this with God? We don’t get the answer when we want them so we go find the answers, which we think is the answer. Then what kind of mess have we created because we didn’t want to wait. As humans, we are so impatient. We know what we want, and we know exactly when we want it: RIGHT NOW! But, God knows better. He has created a world that unfolds according to His own timetable, not ours. As Christians, we must be patient as we wait for God to show us the wonderful plans that He has in place for us. And while we’re waiting for God to make his plans clear, let’s keep praying and keep giving thanks to the One who has given us more blessings than we can count.
 
Grass that is here today and gone tomorrow does not require much time to mature. A big oak tree that last for generations requires much more time to grow and mature. God is concerned about your life through eternity. Allow Him to take all the time He needs to shape you for His purpose.

I am just going to come right out and say it, Christians can be fake.

If I have just stepped on your toes, first you need to understand that I am one of you. I’m not just an Easter and Christmas Christian. I’m not the Christian who only thinks Scripture is good for Instagram selfies. I’ve read through the Bible cover to cover more times than I’ve binged on Lethal Weapon and trust me, that’s a lot. I have attended church my entire life.
This isn’t a criticism of the Church from the outside, this is coming from someone who can turn to a song in the hymnal faster than you can locate it on Pandora. I feel more connected to Christ each day that I’m alive, and so I hope we can be adults here and have a real conversation: Oftentimes, Christians are fake, and it’s a turn off.

I can share this because I was one of them. I remember going through my divorce a few years ago and people were shocked. I remember people telling me that they couldn’t believe it, because they thought we were the “perfect couple.” I can tell you now, we were not. I mean I was selected to be a Deacon in our church.  We placed our Sunday Masks on each day we walked out of the house.
When I first decided I was really going to do this religion thing, I too thought that this meant I had to be perfect. So, I didn’t share the things I was struggling with. I was not real with anyone. I put on a front to cover my struggles. At the same time I would share with others the power of God and what he could do for them but I did not applying it in my own life. I didn’t want anyone to question whether or not I had a sincere relationship with God, and so I tried to say the right thing, at all times, and even felt a need to prove to people that I was a good person. Somewhere along the way I believe God was like, “Ok Mike. Chill out,” and I went through the strangely difficult process of allowing myself to be who I actually am.  I tried to be the perfect Christian, and it turns out that God just needed me to be myself.
I know I am not alone in this because hello newsfeed! I see it all the time. Christians trying to outdo one another in their Christian-dom. Everyone pretending they have it all together. Making sure that every good deed doesn’t go without a notification and photo-op. But look fam, that’s not who Christ was. The Bible says to give in, in such a way that your left hand doesn’t know what your right hand has done. Christ didn’t wait until there was a crowd to begin his sermon. He would get so lost in this compelling conversation with one person that others gathered. I had a friend who told me once that no one is ever converted from the pulpit. If you want to make an impact you have to get off the stage and start having some real conversations, with some real people, as the real you. You don’t have to post photos of your Bible or Hebrew tattoo to prove to people you like Jesus. Just be kind and respectful. Give to people who need it. Spend your energy trying to boost others, rather than looking for ways for others to boost you.
Live in such a humble, gracious, loving way that people just want to be next to you.  All different types of people. Not just other Christian people. Because P.S., that’s how that works.

Whenever we try too hard to convince others of something, I worry that we are actually trying to convince ourselves. I have spent the last couple years after my divorce focusing on showing God who I am, rather than other people. I’d say that it was easy, but it wasn’t. As a salesperson and public speaker, my natural instinct is to love the crowd, the compliments and attention. But if you read through the Gospels, you will find very quickly that Christ actually let himself get lost in a crowd, wasn’t looking for compliments, and never sought out attention.
So, stop faking it and be real. You never know who you can help or touch by being real. I have learned this by being open about my divorce and the choices I have made in my life. Therefore, stop with the awkward sermonizing of pain, stop smiling to people’s faces if you are going to whisper behind their backs, stop pretending like your kids are perfect because we all know they are not. Remember, we were all young once. Hey, look I’m on my second marriage so stop pretending like your marriage is perfect. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife but trust me we have our struggles.  Stop the hypocrisy. Stop quoting 1 Corinthians 13:1 and then laughing at racist jokes. Stop pretending like you have never stubbed your toe and dropped an expletive (shut up we are all sinners).

Christianity is just about coming to God as you are, and hoping that each day, he will help you put a little more 'good' into a world.  It’s about genuinely loving God and genuinely loving people.
The world doesn’t need more perfect Christians. What it needs is more authentic ones.