First Christmas as a Divorced Dad
As I sit here tonight for my first Christmas being divorced and the girls are with their mom I have been thinking about a lot of things. This Christmas has been really different and I have learned a lot about myself during this time. Even though in the past I went shopping with their mom to by their Christmas gifts and I enjoyed watching them open the gifts I still lost the part of giving. This year as I went shopping as a divorced father I thought how selfish and self-centered I was at times during Christmas. This year as I have went shopping to purchase their gifts I really focused on them and what they wanted and not myself. God spoke to me many times during this process about its not about you it’s about others. As I was wrapping their gifts I was so excited about watching them open them and for them to see what they got. Not that I was not excited in the past it’s just different. God has taught me so much during this time of difficulty. I believe God uses these times like this to really teach us about ourselves. Today, it's all about me. Okay and you. Isn't that was selfishness is? Putting the spotlight on ourselves and being consumed by it. When we think about emotional bondage, many times we experience depression, anxiety, loneliness and so on because of past or current circumstances. These unhealthy emotions may not have been triggered by our selfish desires but holding onto them instead of giving them to the Lord borderlines on selfishness. "Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed." 1 Peter 2:24 As Christians, we are supposed to be like Christ. We are supposed to be selfless. As our Lord and Saviour graciously became the sacrifice for us, His mind was on what would benefit His children. His mind was on love. As humans, we tend to hold onto the emotions that we are supposed to let go because we have not learned to love right. Or trust right. When we love the way God loves and we trust in Him, we are able to let go of our selfishness and embrace freedom. "Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name; worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness." Psalm 29:2 Selfishness is usually wrapped up like a pretty present but when opened, only destruction lies. It looks appealing and feels good. When we take, hoard, keep instead of give, purge and bless. Being selfish in our ways actually steals the glory away from God! How can He be glorified in your life if you are in the spotlight? How can we be free from unhealthy emotional bondage if we only look at ourselves and not the One who truly delivers? "I am the LORD: that is my name: and my glory will I not give to another, neither my praise to graven images." Isaiah 42:8 No matter how hard we try, we cannot change God's mind. He has stated in His Word that He will not give His glory to another. Yet, we in turn are so self-consumed, that spiritually we steal the show and expect Him to perform for us. We are looking inwardly to benefit our desires and justify our emotional bondage, that we are blind to an outward God who provides all the benefits we shall ever need! Think about your daily priorities. Do you put what you want to do in front of what God wants you to do? Have you asked Him what we wants? Think about your relationships. Are you constantly being offended? Are you always dissatisfied? Many times selfishness comes in the form of pain. If we've been wounded, we automatically play the blame game instead of analyzing our motives and actions. Maybe it was our selfishness that triggered the offense.
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Adoption
A few years ago we added a nephew to our Family through adoption. I remember the first time I met him he fit right in our Family it was like he has been with us forever. This little man is awesome. Jim and I had great times at my parents’ house in the pool. I remember him asking me to throw him in the pool and of course I did. He kept running back up to me and saying Uncle Mike can you do it again. I remember thinking this is so awesome and how he fit right in. He and I were sitting in my dad’s chair watching a movie and he looked up at me and said this is fun Uncle Mike and thanks for watching this movie with me. What he didn’t know he was teaching me so much. I thought about my relationship with Christ and how God has adopted us in his Family when we come to him and ask for him to come in our heart. I look at how much fun he was having with his new family and the love our family was giving him. We look at him as part of our family and nothing will ever change that. This is the same thing with Christ. He loves us and will always be there for us no matter what. We just have to lean on Him and trust him. I thought of this verse Galatians 4:4-5 “ But when the fullness of time had come, God sent his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons.” Notice the word adoption. When we place out Faith in Jesus, We are adopted into Gods family. Our situation changes from brokenness to restoration. We have eternal Father who loves us deeply, and we have brothers in sisters in Christ to encourage us and care for us. We also have eternal inheritance in heaven! How does adoption into Gods kingdom change for us? How should it affect our view of Sin? How can it help us live guilt free lives? When you understand a Fathers love, you understand that he loves his children even when they are sinful. On the flipside, however, a loving child wants to please his or her father and doesn’t want to hurt their daddy. As I’ve understood adoption more and more, I’ve experienced Gods love for me in a fresh new way. Spend time thanking God for choosing you as his adopted child. What would your life b like without him? Reflect on where you would be right now and how everything has changed because of the adoption. Confess any sin that comes to mind, and ask God to help you turn away from it so you can avoid hurting God and others. Enjoy living in the riches of God’s love – the love of the perfect Father who adores his Children Merry Christmas to all!! Mountaintops and Valleys
I remember one year our whole family went to Denver to go skiing. I remember the first day we were on the mountain it was so nice and beautiful. As we walked to get on the ski lift I thought to myself this should be interesting since I have never been skiing in my life. I got of the ski lift and off I went I feel about 100 times as I went down the mountain. As I went through the valley of the mountain I thought I would never make it and then I finally got to the bottom of the mountain in one peace. I got back on the lift and back to the top I went. This time as I went down the mountain I was able to make it down without falling. Then my brother challenged me to go up this mountain that was a blue and not green. So of course I was up for that challenge not really knowing he was taking to a black. As I went up in the lift I thought hmmm this is not going to be good and yep it was not good. I was at the top and I was so nice everything thing was so peaceful and it was like I was on the top of the world and nothing was wrong at all. Then I got the area where we went down the mountain and it was a straight drop off I thought I am going to die. I said well here goes nothing and off I went. Oh my word as I started down this mountain it was up and down. As I was in the valleys I thought this was it I am going to die and then I got to the top of the valley and thought ok I can make it then down another valley I go. I finally made it to the bottom and thought I made it even though it was up and down. As I went back to the top of the mountain again two of us sat and talked about how this felt like life. There are so many times we are on top then we are in a valley and wondering if we are going to make it then we hit the top of the valley and we feel better. I thought of this verse Psalm 34:4 “ I sought the lord, and He answered and delivered me from all fears” As I went down this mountain and through the valleys skiing I prayed God would get me down safe Because I was scared to death. Every life (including your) is an unfolding series of event: some fabulous, some not-so-fabulous, and some downright disheartening. When you reach the mountaintops of life, praising God is easy. But, when the storms clouds overhead, your faith will be tested, sometimes to the breaking point. As a believer, you can take comfort in this fact: Wherever you find yourself, whether at the top of the mountain or the depths of the valley, God is there, and because He cares for you, you can live courageously. The next time you find you courage tested to the limit, remember that God is your shield and your strength; He is your protector and your deliverer. Call upon Him in your hour of need and he will protect you. There comes a time when we simply have to face the challenges in our lives and stop backing down. Trust him to guide you
I couple of weeks ago I was driving to Atlanta for a work function. I put in the address of where I was going in my GPS to get me there without getting lost. As I pulled into Atlanta I really relied on the GPS to get me to the hotel. When all of sudden the GPS shut off and I thought this is not good. I tried to find the Hotel on my own and yep I got lost. I pulled over on the interstate and tried to get the GPS to come on after a few minutes I got it to come on. I put the address back in a realized I was way off from where I needed to be. After a 30 minute detour I got to the hotel. I started thinking about my walk with Christ. It brought me to Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths.” It like the GPS I trusted it to get me where I needed to be and it will. We should be happy God does not shut off like the GPS did for me. As Christians whose salvation has been purchased by the blood of Christ, we have every reason to live joyously and courageously. After all, Christ has already fought and won our battle for us – He did so on the cross at Calvary. But despite Christ’s sacrifice, and despite Gods promises, we may become confused or disoriented by the endless complications and countless distractions of life-here-in-the-21sy-century. If you’re unsure of your next step, lean upon Gods promises and lift your prayers to him. Remember that God is your protector. Open yourself to his heart, and trust Him to guide you. When you do, God will direct your steps, and you will receive His blessings today, tomorrow, and throughout eternity. I don’t doubt that the Holy Spirit guides your decisions from within when you make them with the intention of pleasing God. The error would be to think that he only speaks within, whereas in reality He speaks also through Scripture, the Church, Christian friends, and books. Making peace with your past
There are times in life we look back at our past and we dwell on it. We wonder why we did the things we did and then beat ourselves up on the past. We sometimes live so much in the past that we can’t live in the present. This is sometimes so hard not to look back, but it is like history we can’t live there we just have to learn from it. I was talking to my daughters tonight and they were asking my questions about my high school and college days. I was not proud of the things I did but I shared with them some things hoping I could share with them of what not do. They asked dad do you regret some of the choices you made and I said yes. They asked me if I could rewind time would I change anything and of course I said I would. I think we all wish we had a rewind button on our life, but we don’t. Like I told them we have to live with the choices we make and we have to learn from them. I know one day when they are my age they will look back and wish they could change things, but how else do we learn sometimes. Like I told them there are things and people we will lose based on our choices. I lost some good friends based on the choices that I made back in the day. However I told them you can’t dwell on the past you have to learn from the past. I told them when we walk with God and ask him to forgive us Gods throws tosses it. Like in Isaiah 43: 18-19 “The lord says, “Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don’t you see it? I will make a in the desert and rivers in the dry land.” However this is so easy to read then it is to apply to our life. We it is that you ask? I believe it’s because we hurt people and lose things that we wish we didn’t that we just hate it. But have you made peace with your past? If you have that is great. But if you have not it’s like standing in quicksand and you need to find an escape before it takes you under. We need to accept what has been and by trusting God for what will be. Because we are human, you may be slow to forget yesterday’s disappointments. But, if you sincerely seek to focus your hopes and energies on the future, then we must find a way to accept the past, no matter how difficult it is. So, if you have not yet made peace with your past, today is the day to declare an end to all hostilities. When you do, you can then turn your thoughts to wondrous promises of God and the glorious future that he has in store for you. This is something I have not seem to master, but with God he is working on me. One thing I have to remind myself every day is this “Don’t let yesterday use up to much of today, if I do what I am missing?” My rock during turbulence
I remember flying to New York for business. Note flying is not the thing I like to do. I remember the pilot coming over the speaker and saying to put on our seat belts because we were coming to so some rough weather. The lady that was sitting next to me had had her 5 year old daughter I and she looked at me and said this is not going to be fun. I looked at her and said why? She told me this was her first flight and was already scared. I looked at the little girl and said it’s going to be ok. Then the weather hit and the plane was all over the place. Why I was helping that mother with her little girl I forgot to put on my seat belt. Yes I flew out of my seat and hit the floor. I climbed back into the seat and put my seat belt on. The little girl said are you ok? I looked at her and said yes I am and she laughed and said you should have put on your seat belt like the man on the speaker said. I laughed and said yes I should have listened to him. The flight became worse and I guess I had this look on my face like we were about to die. The little girl looked at me and said you want to hold on to my blanket? She said it helps me when I am scared. I thought for a second and said no when really I wanted to say yes. I got to thinking about that a few days ago when I came across 2 Samuel 22: 2-3 “ The lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliver, my God my mountain where I seek refuge. My shield the horn of my salvation my strong hold my refuge and my savior you save me from violence.” Psalm 145 promises, “The lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them.” And the words of Jesus offer us comfort: “These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have turbulence; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world (John 16:33). As believers, we know the God loves us and the He will protect is in times of hardship, He will comfort us; in times of sorrow. He will dry our tears. When we are troubled, God is always with us. We must build our lives on the rock that cannot be shaken: we must trust in God. And then, we must get on with the hard work of tackling our problems…. Because if we don’t, who will? Or should? |
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September 2024
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