Whats in your Box

In our sales meeting, we were discussing that when we meet with our clients, we need to make sure to talk about the client’s hopes, dreams, and expectations for their businesses. The reason for this is because learning more about these three things we then know the expectations of the client. Because at the end of the day, we want to meet the expectations for the clients.
After the meeting I was in my office reading an email from a client who was upset. The client was upset because was were not meeting their expectations. After a few minutes of talking to this client and calming them down, I started asking questions. I come to find out that we at the beginning of our work relationship with this client and we didn’t have a full picture of their hopes, dreams, and desires. So, we were holding this imaginary box of these three things without knowing them. And by not knowing them, we didn’t know the expectations the client was looking for. I was able reset and get a clear picture of the hopes, dreams, and desires of the client and do things that met their expectations. Happy client equals happy business.
After this call I sat back in my chair and started thinking about relationships. Do we ask these questions when in relationships about each other’s hopes, dreams and desires? I don’t think we do in a very in-depth level. If we don’t then WHY? Do we not think our relationships are more important?  If we are not, then when we get married, we are handed a box full of someone’s hope, dreams and desires and are expected to make it happen with even knowing what they are. Because remember both parties have these boxes so when “When I’s collide we swap boxes.”  Now 2 people have boxes and have no idea what’s in the boxes below the service or the expectations that will need be met. This is where the I’s really collide. And when they do, here are a few things we do - we leave, we win, we conform, and we compromise. All these are not good for a relationship. Let’s break down these things a little further:

• We leave- how many people are we going to hurt when we decide to walk out the door because our expectations were not met because we never shared our hopes, dreams, and desires
• We win – this comes with the 4 C’S – Convince, Convert, Control, and Coerce. This is about having a winner. In a relationship is not about winning.
• We conform- We conform for that person and then you realize my hope, dreams, and desires don’t matter. This is not a fun place
• We compromise – This is about keeping score. I did this for you so I need you to do this for me. When we start down this road you will have low trust. In a relationship if there are low trust other issues will surface.

So, when we start to find ourselves in one of the four things above, we start to build a wall and you may be living behind your wall and say I committed. But are you committed to the relationship or the person. For it to work you must be committed to the person. This is an area that is a whole another topic I will write on later.
However, right now I want us to step back and think about our relationships and ask do they really know what is in our box of “hopes, dreams, and desires?”